Category: Raising Kids

Where does self-esteem come from?

Everyone talks about self-esteem … boosting it when it’s low, building it in our children and in ourselves. There are those who believe that “not winning the trophy or game” hurts budding self-esteem. And, instead of looking at where self-esteem comes from, their easy answer is you win if you show up, teams are assigned and everyone gets a trophy. But, I don’t think that builds self-esteem. In fact, just the opposite. It destroys it. I think empty praise and meaningless accomplishments give kids the idea that adults don’t believe they are capable of competing and winning. I think it keeps them from learning to navigate complex social relationships. It keeps them from trying hard things and especially from learning from failure. It creates apathy. Building self-esteem in children happens across four main senses: Connectiveness, Uniqueness, Power and Models more »

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